IB Theory of Knowledge and AP Seminar teacher Mr. William Lyons is famously known as a campus enigma, known for playing everyone’s favorite role of Devil’s Advocate. Notorious for posing questions with no answers, here are some of Mr. Lyons’ answers to life’s previously unanswered questions.

Pineapple on pizza?

Only if it’s covered with jalapeños.

Is water wet?

When my skin touches water I feel a sensation of wetness but I cannot tell whether or not the water itself is wet because I don’t know what the water is feeling. I don’t even know if water has a conscience to begin with, so we would first have to define what that is.

Imagine you’re a new addition to a crayon box. What color would you be and why?

Well, if I’m a new addition to a crayon box I’m assuming I’m a new color that I’ve never seen so I wouldn’t know how to define it.

What were you like in high school?

I plead the fifth.

What’s something you’ve done that you would dissuade others from doing?

I won’t admit anything I’ve done but I wouldn’t dissuade others from doing anything because I wouldn’t be who I am today if I had not done those things.

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?

Retire.

As you’re notorious for ruining Disney movies for your students, what is your favorite Disney movie?

Wall-E.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Right here, right now.

If your life were to be made into a movie, would you want it to be a Bollywood or Hollywood movie?

I would want it to be a Tollywood movie.