The following article was published as a part of The Seminole’s 2014 April Fool’s issue! The information, quotations, and other content is completely fictitious and should not be considered a true representation of the school, the administration, or other governing entities.
Beginning in the 2015-16 school year, SHS will begin adding new languages to the curriculum such as Mandarin, Icelandic, Portuguese, Esperanto, Pig Latin, and Greek.
Since the mid-1980s linguists and psychologists have been performing studies to discover the effects of knowing multiple languages not closely related to each other on one’s mental capacity.
SHS has been considering these studies and has noticed the amount of similarities and cognates between English, Spanish, and French. The school has decided to hire in foreign teachers of different languages as the studies prove that this will broaden student’s view of the world and widen their mental capacity.
“This will be a great improvement in the quality of our school’s language program,” said Assistant Principal Mrs. Mariah Freedman. “By introducing these new languages to SHS, students will have the opportunity to learn outside of the French and Spanish that are commonly taught.”
The languages that will be entering the school’s curriculum include Mandarin, Icelandic, Portuguese, Esperanto, Pig Latin, and Greek. These languages have been stated by linguists as some of the most difficult to learn.
“Offeringyay esethay oremay ifficultday anguageslay inyay oolschay illway ugelyhay enefitbay ethay udentsstay,” said incoming Pig Latin teacher Mr. obbyBay oeJay. “IigPay atinLay ashay anymay onceptscay atthay areyay oftenyay ifficultday orfay udentsstay otay understandyay, andyay avinghay udentsstay earnlay emthay illway efinitelyday idenway eirthay iewsvay ofyay anguagelay andyay evenyay otheryay ubjectssay.”
As well as expanding their mental capacity, SHS administration stated that offering more difficult languages will help and encourage students that are planning future careers and study paths abroad.
The students will not only be taught the language but will learn the customs and culture of the countries where the language is widely spoken. This could include learning about the foods, traditions, and dress connected to the languages.
“I am planning a food day where students will cook and try many of the different foods of Iceland,” said incoming Icelandic teacher Mr. Baltasar Samper. “My students always love it when we have in-class festivals featuring food such as Iceland’s famous fermented shark.”
The school is looking forward to students having the chance to learn these new languages in the upcoming years.